There's no deep philosophical reason for this blog, only the desperate need to find a way to unleash the emotions that are eating away inside of me. And since I've always been a writer, a blog seemed the best therapy for everything my family is going through.

Now to clarify, its not me who has the cancer, but my mom. And she's someone who's the heart and soul, the very link that holds this family together. I don't know how we'd survive without her there, but I know that she gave us the strength to do so if we were forced to.

Well I suppose even more of a clarification is needed here. She had gastric cancer about three years ago and they took out her stomach and lymph nodes in which they hadn't found anything. So she went through the chemo pretty well considering, not losing her hair or anything particularly devastating. And so the prognosis was remission...and the magical number of "Five Years" was introduced to us. And so it became that long wait...five years and we would be home free...five years and the nagging nightmares would go away.

Its now three years and we're faced with the strong possiblity that it has returned but this time as something even worse. CT scan shows that it might have spread to the mesentary which leaves the only option as chemotherapy with a very very poor prognosis.

But we don't know that until her doctor returns from his vacation on thursday...and thursday is the day of reckoning. The day where we have to face all truths.