Today was the first day back at work after finding out and it was a disaster of sorts. Yet it comforted me to know that people cared and also to not worry about what to do about work as the family goes through this. Every time I had to explain why I needed a meeting changed, or someone else to cover, or asking about time out...to have to explain why had me bawling all over again. As if the world would end.

And it would if something terrible happened.

I listened to everyone's cancer stories. How they lost their wife, their mother, their brother or sister. How they themselves have cancer. It was as if cancer was all around me and I couldn't escape it. But one story stood out in particular. A friend told me of his brush with his own rare cancer, how when he first found out, the first fifteen minutes were filled with shock and grief, but how he finally came to the realization that it was all in God's hands. And he believed God wanted him to live. And so he lived now past the magical five year mark for "cure" in cancer.

As I sit here though I realize that a diagnosis isn't a death sentance. It should be a challenge and a chance to open your eyes to appreciate what you have and what you need to fight for. I know we need to surround my mom with positive energy that will help her in fighting the cancer, in coping with chemo and in finding a peacefulness that will help her body's immune system cope.

So my new task is to make sure my mother has that same peacefulness, that strong fight to live that will keep her body fighting long past any diagnosis. And to bring that peacefulness to my family who seems so ready to fall into dispair. I too am frightened, but when you begin to see what's really important it helps to diminish that fear.

Its Monday and the countdown to the truth continues...