Well, this has been quite a long day! We got there around 1pm and finally left around 9pm. My dad's frantic worrying which freaked me out to get me all worrying didn't quite come to pass. Though we haven't gotten a get out of jail free card, we got a delay one.

Turns out they don't know exactly what it is that's blocking my mom's ureters. Could be cancer, could be fibroids, or radiation scarring...thought its location is suggestive of cancer being as its near that part of the colon that they were afraid of being affected. We'll know more after more tests...more more tests. I feel like I got temporary reprieve from not having to face any truths and a rather jolt of hope that perhaps it couldn't be cancer.

Though a part of me knows its very likely is cancer, the rest will hope that's its something else entirely. As long as they don't know for certain, we can live in that fantasy, right? And why can't we be within that percentage, no matter how small, that makes it through this?

More hope today, but more fears tomorrow when I go see my mom and spend the day with her while she's draining the fluids from her kidneys. Lots of peeing and they need to keep her overnight just to make sure she stays hydrated.

Its tough being in the ward and watching all the other cancer patients who are worst off. You keep thinking...will that be me there? Standing around like their loved ones with those grim faces?